"So, What Are You Doing Over There Anyway?"

Being in the Peace Corps is like majoring in something your parents don’t understand “So, you’re majoring in what, philosophy?” “Wait, I don’t understand, I thought the point of you going to college was so you could get a job.” It’s one of those things that is hard to explain, especially when you don’t come from a wealthy background… “We left a poor country to give you opportunities, and now you’re running off to a poorer country?” Being considered one of the “smart ones” in the family also didn’t help for it begot a lot of questions about career path and money… “Wait, but diplomats don’t make that much money…” and “So you’re going to this other country, and then what, when are you going to start making money?”

It’s one of the most misunderstood paths one can take, for even those who are supportive - such as my parents - often don’t really understand what’s going on. So my father, like most other people, has just resorted to calling me crazy “She’s in Africa again, don’t ask me why, that’s what she likes, she’s crazy.”

I won’t deny that I’m crazy, anyone who knows me well can attest to that. But my being here is not a result of my craziness nor is it illogical - it actually makes perfect sense. The logic goes something like this: I want to be a development professional, becoming a development professional requires a lot of experience in development, Peace Corps is the premier place to get development experience because you get to do work on the ground and it is highly respected by development institutions, organizations, schools, and professionals. So yeah, it makes sense.

Peace Corps gives volunteers the opportunity to do real development work in the areas of education, health, agriculture/environment, and business among others. It’s a path that makes sense for those who like to rough it and get their hands dirty trying to solve real world problems. It’s rough and it’s not for everyone, but it is for me.

As an education volunteer I am doing many things, but my main goal is to help English teachers develop their English proficiency and teaching methodology (I’ll get to the problematic nature of teaching a colonial language in a different blog post, I promise) because English is the medium of instruction at the middle school, high school, and college levels. Students who do not understand English, therefore, have a slim chance of making it to university and escaping the depths of poverty.

On Monday I submitted an ambitious proposal to the director of my school with 14 projects I intend to accomplish in the next 4 months. The proposal is below:

                                    Proposal for Second Semester Projects

Below you will find a list of 14 projects that Jaynice Del Rosario, the Education Peace Corps Volunteer in Shone, will endeavor to accomplish with the Shone community from March – June 2014 (2006 E.C.)

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English Club: We propose to hold a formal English club on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays from 11: 15 – 12:15 local time in the English Language Improvement Center at Shone Primary School Number 1. The English club will have a maximum of 40 students and will provide them with English language instruction that is effective, interesting, and fun. Students will begin by honing basic English skills and work their way up to reading more proficiently and speaking more fluently. All club lessons will employ activities that focus on the 4 language learning skills: listening, reading, writing, and speaking.

English Language Improvement Center (ELIC): We propose to equip the English Language Improvement Center for the use of students and teachers alike. We aim to provide students with books, color paper, pens, markers, and a reading area. We will also have instructional materials for teachers including: books, color paper, markers, flip chart paper, chalk and other teaching aids. Teachers will be trained on how to use and reuse the materials to minimize waste.

Better World Books: We propose to get book donations for the student-reading area in the English Language Improvement Center.

English Day Lottery: We propose to revamp English Day with a twist called English Day Lottery. English Day Lottery is a program created by an Education Peace Corps Volunteer that consists of handing out mobile cards to students who make an effort to speak English on English day, putting all of the mobile cards in a bag at the end of the day, and having a lottery. The student whose number is chosen wins a prize.

World Wise Schools Pen Pal Program: We propose to have a pen pal program as part of our English club. English club members will write letters to peers in the United States and build friendships while simultaneously improving their English writing skills.

Homework Help/Tutoring Hour: We propose to help students who need help with any subject for one hour per shift every day.

English Shai Bunna Conversation Hour: We propose to hold an English conversation hour for teachers once a week over shai bunna. This allotted time will give teachers the opportunity to practice speaking English with each other while discussing interesting topics over shai bunna.

Project Design and Management Training (PDM): We propose to host a training session on Project Design and Management for school principals and woreda leaders.

Teacher Training on Organization and Planning (CPD): We propose to host a training session on organization and planning for all teachers in the cluster schools. The training will focus specifically on lesson planning, SMART objectives, lesson sequence, scaffolding, and preparing teaching aids. All participants who successfully complete the training will receive a certificate of completion and CPD credit.

Training on Presentation and Management (CPD): We propose to host a training session on presentation and management for all teachers in the cluster schools. The training will focus specifically on activating prior knowledge and experience, modeling, time management, group work, lesson adaptation, and feedback. All participants who successfully complete the training will receive a certificate of completion and CPD credit.

Training in Active Learning Methods (CPD): We propose to host a training session on active learning methods for all teachers in the cluster schools. The training will focus specifically on how teachers can teach in a student-centered manner where the students do the vast majority of the work. All participants who successfully complete the training will receive a certificate of completion and CPD credit.

Mini-Program for 1-4 Teachers: We propose to work with 1-4 teachers to create a small program that will address their needs. The program will endeavor to teach them both English and English teaching methodology.

Future Leaders of Ethiopia Team: We propose to work with young adults in the community to create a team of role models that will provide motivational workshops for Shone youth and inspire them to take their educations seriously.

Gender Programming: We propose to work with the girls’ club and the gender club at Shone Primary School Number 1. We propose to create programming that will help girls develop their self-confidence and find their voices.

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Wish me luck! 

Forgetting Other People's Children

One regular day as I was walking home in Shone from the internet café I ran into a three year old baby girl who was ecstatic to see me. We had never met before but seeing a foreigner clearly made her day. She called out to me and I walked over and crouched down to say hello. As I was admiring her innocence and the sheer joy on her precious face, I realized there was black crust all over her left ear and white liquid inside of it. She didn’t seem to be in pain, so I wasn’t too alarmed. I then walked over to the teenage girl watching her and in my broken Amharic managed to ask what was wrong with the child’s ear. She told me her ear was sick. I asked if her family had medicine for her and she said no. I asked if they had planned on taking her to the doctor and again the answer was no. I told her to take the child to the doctor and get medicine for her, she nodded, I waved goodbye and walked away.

That night I went home and couldn’t get the child off my mind. I proceeded to devise a plan to help her in the most discreet way possible. I spoke to my counterpart and we decided that I would give him money, he would get her the medicine, and no one would have to know it came from me, but I never saw her again.

This is not a novel occurrence here in Ethiopia. One of the poorest countries in the world, Ethiopia is replete with sick children who lack the resources and the attention from their families to get proper treatment for simple maladies. As a volunteer my job is to help Ethiopians help themselves by helping them acquire skills - giving them money and paying for medicine is not part of the deal. However, whenever I come across a defenseless child with a simple illness that could turn into something grave if left unattended, my heart aches. I struggle with the desire to do the human thing and help, and the knowledge that doing so could put me in a bad position in my town, for everyone will likely then expect me to do the same for them.

But my pain for other people’s children often feels like it’s mine alone. Life has taught me time and again that once people have their own children, everything else, including other people’s children, becomes secondary - that’s the reason I won’t be having children for a very long time.

My education has afforded me the opportunity to meet quite a few influential people with the power to make a difference who unapologetically chose not to for the sake of their children. I remember how it felt to have a Dominican woman in a high position of power at Wesleyan for the first time. I remember how hopeful the student of color community at WES felt about the change she would bring. We thought she would advocate for us, look out for our interests, and help us fight “the man” - WE WERE DEAD WRONG. When push came to shove and we were racially targeted, all we got from her was, “it happens everywhere and it’s going to continue to happen.” WTF? Really though?

Yes, really. While I cannot affirm that her lack of support was due to fear of losing her job and what that would mean for the future of her children, it was the only explanation that seemed to appease -“If she did it for her kids, who are we to blame her?”

I dare not blame her or anyone else for thinking about their own children first and choosing not to risk their livelihoods for the children of others. However, I would like to challenge all parents to consider the status quo they might be helping maintain in the world their children live in. If nothing else, then at least the act of having a child should be catalyst enough for you to stand up against the inequality, the poverty, the racism, the sexism, the sexual assault, and the homophobia that plagues the world we live in.  We don’t live in a vacuum and as long as that’s the case no child is immune, not even yours. So I’m taking my time, trying to make change the only way I know how, investing in the children of others who might be making the decisions that will someday affect my own, and building a better world for my unborn little monsters, for even if I fail, at least they will know that I tried.

Valentine’s Day 7000-Miles Apart: Tips For Peace Corps Volunteers On How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work.

Realizing that Daniel was my person was like finally figuring out a math problem after staring at it for a long time. You know that “AHA” moment when it just clicks and you can’t fathom how you didn’t see it before? Yeah, just like that. He had been there since the 7^th grade, right in front of me – figuratively speaking – but it wasn’t until I was leaving for two years that we realized we fit together beautifully and fell in love… WTF? Really?

YES, REALLY! I guess that’s just how it goes, for like a tide love seems to come and ebb as it pleases leaving us at its peril without any regard for our plans. And plan it we did not. Daniel and I fell in love at work because we share a passion for thought, education, and making a difference. It’s not uncommon to hear us on the phone discussing Amy Chua’s latest Op-Ed, the problematic implications of cultural superiority in her new book, and why she’s under more fire than her husband who co-wrote the book (hint: it has something to do with her vagina). Yet we still laugh at stupid things and make fun of people who diss other people on social media all the while using “your” when they should be using “you’re” – get it together people!

In short, I found love in a hopeful and unexpected place (THANK YOU GEAR UP!) and to date it’s still the sweetest most fulfilling phenomenon I’ve come to know. Yet this Valentine’s Day, when lovers across the world are creating romantic memories, reminiscing about their beginning and dreaming of the future, I will spend it without him, longing to hold him, kiss him, and show him just how much I love him.

As I prepare to spend this coming Valentine’s day in longing I recall last year’s and am overcome by a sense of peace as I remember the beautiful rose, the Hershey’s kisses that spelled out Hi on my desk, the French card with the writing backwards symbolic of my backwardness and particularity, the Ethiopian food, and the connection that enveloped us so tightly we didn’t realize that after 3 hours we were the only ones left in the room.  It was by far the most romantic and meaningful Valentine’s Day I had ever experienced for his gestures let me know two things: that he paid close attention whenever I spoke for he knew the things I liked, and that he was invested in my dreams, even if it meant living 7000-miles apart for over two years.

Soon after that romantic evening I searched the Internet for anecdotal evidence that a long-distance Peace Corps relationship could work and found nothing.  I felt anxious and lost because I had no idea what we were in for and if we would thrive. At this juncture however, 7 months into my service, I can honestly say that we have fallen even deeper in love despite the distance. While every relationship is different and has its own set of specific dynamics, those of us in long-distance Peace Corps relationships experience many of the same things. Therefore, I would like to take this opportunity to provide some insights and advice for soon to be Peace Corps Volunteers that have recently decided to go on this special journey and assure them that they’re not crazy for choosing to stick it out.

YOUR PARTNER MUST BELIEVE IN YOUR WORK

Most people don’t understand what Peace Corps Volunteers do and I’m definitely not a fan of explaining it. However, it is essential that your partner understands your work, understands why you’re doing it, supports your work, and believes in your ability to carry it out. Volunteers with partners that are not invested in the work that they do often struggle with constantly having to validate their reasons for serving abroad as opposed to serving at home. They feel like they can’t complain after having a bad day or they risk being hit with “Why don’t you just come then?” If you’re going to commit to maintaining your relationship while in the Peace Corps make sure your partner is invested in your journey, otherwise he or she may add another unnecessary level of difficulty to an already challenging job.

COMMUNICATE YOUR LIMITATIONS CLEARLY

Communication is important in all relationships but it becomes particularly crucial when the partners are living in different cultural contexts with very different limitations. When you begin training to become a Peace Corps Volunteer you train for 10 hours a day from Monday to Friday, and then for 4 hours on Saturdays. That’s a total of 54 hours - 14 hours more than the usual American workweek.  Moreover if you consider the culture shock, the gastrointestinal problems, and the high level of anxiety many of us experience, you quickly realize that this makes for a very stressful environment that isn’t conducive to maintaining a stable relationship.  Lack of power, poor telephone network, and limited Internet access can further aggravate the situation and can potentially cause a good relationship to go sour.

To avoid this you must communicate your limitations clearly. You must explain in great detail the stresses of training, the limited access to communication, and anything else that is relevant. For example, during training I could hardly mail any letters because whenever I was free (during lunch and after the training sessions) the post office was always closed - Ethiopians go home for lunch and they close the post office early. In this event it was important that I communicated why I couldn’t respond to Daniel’s letters in a timely manner, and why that would be the case during the entirety of my training. Communicating previously unforeseen limitations is critical because your partner has no way of understanding your experience unless you paint it for him or her. If you don’t communicate, assumptions will inevitably be made and they can hurt your relationship.

LAY OUT THE EXPENSES AND EXPECTATIONS IN ADVANCE

Let’s face it, Peace Corps Volunteers are broke and they can’t afford much. That is definitely something to think about when deciding to maintain a long distance Peace Corps love. How much will communication cost per month? Will the person at home be able to pay for most of the communication costs? Should you bring a smart phone with you and get Viber so you can text for free? Will your partner visit? Will you come home at any point during the two years? Will you meet somewhere in between? How will you pay for it? It is best to figure out the answers to these questions in advance to avoid strife and unrealistic expectations. The more realistic your expectations, the more likely your relationship is to succeed.

EXPECT THAT YOUR PARTNER WILL CHANGE TOO

Many Peace Corps volunteers expect to change throughout their service and many often do. Sometimes the change is positive, sometimes not so much, it all depends on the person and the country he or she is in. However, since change is an integral part of this experience and we are constantly getting slapped by the most unconventional of challenges, we can easily forget that the world does not revolve around us and that others are growing and changing too. Just as you will change your partner will change. Change is a part of life and we can’t grow without it. PCVs can get caught up on wanting to find everything they left behind just as they left it for the sake of feeling stable and grounded, feelings that becomes foreign when you move to a community where you don’t know the language, don’t share the culture, and don’t have any family or friends. Leave room for change, make room for change, and relish in the beauty of change.

EXPLAIN THAT YOU WILL HAVE BAD DAYS BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU WANT TO GO HOME

I have shitty days. Let me rephrase that, I have A LOT of shitty days, but that doesn’t mean I want to go home. Yet I complain all the damn time and that’s O.K. My complaining is part of my adjustment and despite my many travels Ethiopia kicks my ass on a weekly basis. Just when I think things are starting to make sense, BOOM! I get slapped again. Daniel knows that, he knows it’s hard and he knows it often sucks but he’s supportive, extremely supportive. He knows that saying “I had an awful day and I’m sick of the administration at my school “ is not the same as saying, “I’m done, I feel unsafe and I need to go home.” Know that it will be HARD, explain that to your partner, and then let them know that you’ll just need to vent sometimes (or maybe all the time).

TRUST EACHOTHER

It goes without saying that there is no point in being in relationship with someone you don’t trust no matter the distance. However, trust issues come in different sizes and if it isn’t grave you may be able to figure it out before your departure. Nevertheless, if you have deep trust issues and cannot trust your partner, the distance is likely to aggrandize them. If you can’t trust your partner, it’s probably best to cut your losses before you board that plane.

This Peace Corps thing isn’t easy but being with the right person makes it all the more beautiful. Wishing all of those loving couples that are willing to make such a serious commitment all the luck in the world, for there is nothing this world is in more need of than love.